Master of success
Branding advertising storytelling
In ethology, there are studies of animals who voluntarily respond to triggers even the circumstances may not be unfavorable (eg. predator luring prey). This also apply to human beings; we are not logical as we think we are.
Jiu-jitsu - use the power of others to your advantage .
Humans are more agreeable / comply / attracted to
Expensive = quality
Discount / savings
Give a reason to your request
Reciprocity : you scratch your back, I scratch yours
Rejection then retreat: make larger request that will be refused then offer a smaller 2nd request as a concession. This larger request can be monetary, commitment based(time).
Consistency - we will do the illogical just to uphold our values and virtues
understocked toy store > alternative expensive toy > not to disappoint children's wishes
Social proof - we are searching for social evidence to behave in unfamiliar situations
If people can do it / are doing it so I should do the same
Application in media: celebrity endorsement, "real people" commercials,
Attractiveness does affects people's judgement even though they would say otherwise
"I like you" greeting cards to customers generate likability
Application in media: attractive woman in car commercial
Authority - deep seated answer to authority
Obedience to authority is often rewarding ; it's easy to default to automatic mechanical obedience > we do not have to think therefore we don't > subordinates stop thinking and start reacting to an order. Medication errors are evident of this situation where nurses do not question doctor's prescription
Size / height = power/ status . eg. animals' size enhancing exhibitions
Clothing / uniforms / business suits eg. Bank Examiner Scheme
Arguing against their best interests > you think they are on your side
Examples in media: dental commercials , "Catch me if you can", spam emails,
Limited edition / exclusivity / Stating loss instead of gain / preciousness
Convenience determines value eg. vending machine, spotify
the joy is not in the experience of a scarce commodity but possessing it
Counter: why would we want the item of consideration > Function over possession
We responds to "chip chip" triggers
We are giving cues to people to lead our desired outcome
Skip to chapter 3 if you want to focus on the selling part; the first 2 chapters cover more about self-improvement and goal-setting.
Focus on the 20% that allows you to earn 80% or do the things 20% that people do not do.
Specialize /have a unique selling point
Apple selling propertiary software
Best foot forward; often something that only your company can do
Security is a fundamental human need
It is not so much about the product but rather the feelings it brings to the customers.
All buying decisions are emotional
Make your prospect go "Really how do you do that?"
Communicate in a way that fulfill what the customers want not what you are selling - so what?
Freudian slip - if you let a person speak freely, he or she will reveal what they are thinking about deeply
Allow for silence in the conversatio to show that you are processing what the prospect has said
Selling take place in the words but buying takes place in the silence
"How do you mean?" invites elaboration into a problem
Ascending close - making the clients say yes several times builds a momentum for compliance
Chapter 7: types of buyers
Verbal abuse is the worst abuse because it puts people down. Words cut deeper and break the hearts. We are not trained to speak properly. People are easily hurt by language.
It's not what you say, it's how you deliver it
Treating people with respect, communicating for voluntary compliance
Empathy means to see through the yes of others; it absorbs tension, people wants to be listened.
We can be trained to effectively respond to people, reduce inflection...
Talk less, deflect and ask questions
Focus on behaviors, let people talk, respect means to give back the original condition. treat people the same way you want to be treated.
Raise people expectation so they will do what they should do
"I appreciate that ..."
"I understand that but ...."
"I hear you sir but...."
Rephrase / Response
It's none of your business
It is my business and here is why
What do you want me to do about it
Apologize, "I do not know what to suggest
I want you to listen to me and help me
this command upsets people; say it's going to be alright, talk to me, what's the trouble
What's your problem
What's the matter, how can I help,
Not a problem, it's just something I need to discuss, can we talk?
You never / always...
Explain the why
Is that the real issue? Or are you upset about something else
Not going to to say this again
It is important that you understand this so let me say this again, and please listen carefully.
For your own good
*Offer benefits / reasons / concrete examples
Reassure people of their position
Slow down, I see the problem different than you do
Your word with his meaning, it means you want to understand. You do not even have to be right, because people will correct you
The key is to ask people what they just said; don't rely on people to say what mean hence paraphrase
Sword of insertion: wait a second, let me be sure what you just said,
Painting a picture of mutual benefit / unideal situation in people's mind: Dealing with a drunk who wants to pick a fight. The author gave the person two scenarios, be arrested for misdemeanor , or pick a fight which is a felony resulting in jail and loss of job and possibly a partner
Positioning yourself for compliance: stopping people speeding. "May I see your driver license" > "Good evening, I am officer.... , the reason I stop for you because I have notice you have driving at 45mph for 4 blocks in 20 zone; is there a reason for excessive speed for this evening? If not, i would need to see your license". This strips the person of any verbal "weapons"
Seeing the problem as people do: Man who is attempting to murder his son thinking he is cursed. Let the assailant know about a priest who can exorcise the demons so you can save his precious child and not let his ex-wife win.
Bury the ego, the goal is not to win but to strengthen the relationship
Make people feel heard via pace pitch modulation tone
The key lie in the depth of sincerity
Paraphrase - you are saying you are angry with me because I.....
Question: what did I do specifically to make you feel
"I love you, and I don't want to make you mad and i certainly don't want to.... I'm sorry, forgive me, can you teach me how I can do this better because I am serious about this.
Avoid saying these
Why didn't you tell me > "I"m sorry, I was not aware of how my actions have hurt you or how I have been neglecting you. Can you please share with me what you are feeling right now?
How am I suppose to know?
Reasonable appeal — Never use it when people are upset
People are not logical when under duress.
First calm people, then try logic. Under pressure, common sense is the most uncommon commodity
Ask - who what when where how
Offer praise but follow with criticism afterwards
Criticize first, then leave them with praise
How do you make it sincere? Make it as specific as possible
Raising expectations through praise rather than through criticism
Punish effectively; never mix emotions and punishments
Suggest the punishment / ultimatum , paint a picture in their head
If you have to punish someone,
"I want to discuss with you tomorrow on what we are going to do about it" this would give yourself time and space to calmly think about the situation and award the correct punishment
When anger overwhelms you, communicate and seek for a timeout instead of addressing the situation immediately with volatile emotions
Why do we need to put people down when we are upset and angry?
Treat people how you want to be treated
Reasonable vs severe resistance
Always check your assumptions and expectations
respond to people but never react ; responding means being in control
emphasize the positive; it's unexpected
the less ego you show, the more power you have over others
to ask is a form of respect; to tell is a form of disrespect